I wanted to talk about perception, not what we 'see' but how we perceive the world around us. Our immediate environment is feeding us images that link with feelings, smells that provoke memories, sounds that terrify or soothe, we perceive what we can touch. Our minds are always at work to protect us from danger through our perception of any given thing.
Do our perceptions distort our reality?
perception comes in. When I was 3 or 4 I had ear Gromit's put in to help widen my ear canals so that I wasn't deaf. In the children's ward there was a little boy who had Lionitis. He became mine and my sisters friend during our hospital stay, as kids we only saw the kind heart behind the mask the boy had been given to live with in this life, his features didn't matter to us at all only the fact that no other kids were playing with him. I remember my dad telling me that when it was time for us to leave the hospital we encouraged him to give this little boy a kiss to say goodbye; as an adult my dad was taken aback by our request and in his words uncomfortably kissed the boy on his forehead so as not to upset his daughters by refusing.
Erin Brockovich (2000) The glorious Julia Roberts plays the part of Erin in this true story of Erins life (who also has a cameo in her own bio). A single mum of 3 takes on one of the major water companies in America, creating a landslide victory for the residents of Hinksville whose water was contaminated (and was covered up) causing all sorts of health problems and death to the residents.
An event happened to me last weekend, a very upsetting event to me. My car was intentionally damaged. Now, it wasn't a life or death situation but my perception of the event elicited tears, the same kind of tears that I cried when my dad past away. Tears of sadness, the feeling of why me? why something that belongs to me? To something I love? (yes I do love my car!) The hassle it caused to me in the first few moments was more than an irritant, more than the sadness, it felt personal. My perception was that someone had targeted me to in-act some revenge, thoughts went through my mind doubting those who I had recently met or met from the past, annoyed somehow in passing, maybe in a car park, anything, anyone, everyone was questioned in my mind in a split second. I felt vulnerable, unsafe, like my home and my life had been attacked. But was that really the case? Had my core been attacked? Well no, but I only came to that conclusion later, a few days later if I am honest!
Thinking about perception then, I had an event which caused a reaction, my bodily chemistry reacted to it by producing tears, then feelings of anger, then frustration. My brain didn't work so that I couldn't find my insurance details which in turn caused more reactions. Time stood still for me. Nothing worked, everything became blurred; I felt attacked t was as simple as that.
My partner on the other hand, went into 'sort out mode', at times like this I feel he almost goes in on himself (my perception of how he deals with awkward situations), his perception of the event was to start to try and clear up what had happened, make it better by being useful and covering away what may be causing the upset. The ladies from our local shop also went into 'helpful' mode, offering to check cctv and keep an eye out, the local police officers routinely took details and offered support where they could, my kids offered to find the person responsible and fire nerf darts at them till they confessed their crimes! My point is, from one event each person had a perspective, a different point of view, a different role in the same situation. Each person acted and reacted in their own way. It doesn't make what each person did right or wrong. It was right for them, it was their way of reacting to an event that none of us created.
The following days after the damaged was caused have made me act differently, its only been a short time but already my mindset has changed about my environment. I've been asking for our own cctv to be installed, parking my car inside the garage (even after its mended), feeling embarrassed about driving my clearly broken vehicle, checking weather reports in case of rain, the list goes on I'm afraid, I'm not infallible but I am in a place that I can now question my thoughts, recognise my reactions and question what drives us to do the things we do.
I am an adult, (I like to think) facing a minor issue that has forced me to change my comfortable habits; its caused fear, annoyance, paranoia and shame all through an event that was NOT my fault....as a child what perceptions did I have that caused the same thing? what events did I experience that caused worse things? Just why did I react to a minor event the way I did?
How many tiny humans learn to protect themselves when they have only been on the earth, in this incarnation for a few months? Fear, annoyance, feelings of unworthiness, unlovable, not enough, drummed into them....How does that shape their perceptions? What effect does it have? Do they become people who want to fix others? Fearful that if they don't they are failing not only themselves but others? Do they take that out on themselves, harm themselves as they feel fear all the time and feeling pain or misery makes up for it? Do they develop unwanted habits that cause them more harm than they wished for? Sadly yes, yes yes and yes.
So what can we do about it? Stop perceiving? stop living, loving, creating in case it all goes wrong? No of course not, what we can do is change the perception. Change the meaning, change the belief. I know that whoever damaged my car is damaged themselves and I send them love. Does it serve me to wish them harm? Nope that only serves the old perspective. Does it make me look at my partner differently? Yes, he acts when he is truly needed, otherwise he gets on with what he wants to do. Does it make me appreciate my local shop and neighbours more? Yep, they are the eyes and ears of the neighbourhood. Does it make me think that the police can do more? No; they did realistically all they could do. Did it make me question my own reality? Yes it did, I perceive things slightly differently now, I understand that this event pushed me to change what I needed to change, its actually made my life better.....weird HUH!
